So, You Want To Read Tolkien

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss the portion of Appendix A, Part 1 and Part 3. We’re skipping part 2. I think it’s very clear that we were not really into this. A lot of ridiculous names and quick flashes of cool stuff Tolkien is rolling over in his grave Support the Show at […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss the portion of Appendix A focusing on the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen. The tale starts with death…and ends with death a healthy amount of doom She calls him Estel their whole liiiiiiiiiives. You can’t tell me they didn’t bone on that hill. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 9, The Grey Havens Rebuilding the Shire Galadriel’s genetics Only Frodo has PTSD WHERE IS THE FRODO AND ROSIE FRIENDSHIP?!?! The Ringbearers leave. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 8, The Scouring of the Shire So Many Hobbits In This Chapters. Is Frodo a wizard now? Sam, Merry and Pippin the bloodthirsty NINETEEN DEAD HOBBITS No wait, Frodo is a God now. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 7, Homeward Bound Much less people in this chapter What does Rachel want you to do with your fingerprints? How long did we laugh at Rachel for? Bill the Pony, King of the Wolves.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 6, Many Partings Literally everyone is in this chapter. Again. There’s a funeral but it isn’t the saddest thing in this chapter We folks see each other again, or is it all a big death metaphor? Fucking Gandalf.   Support the […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 5, The Steward and the King Faramir and Eowyn meet! Faramir completes his hobbit pokedex A crown is taken from a dead man. A tree is found in the woods mountains But like…how do we KNOW Aragorn is really the king? […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 4, The Field of Cormallen Sam has a real good sense of smell They have to get back in to their dirty clothes Emmy’s favourite line in the entire book And, as always, Aragorn needs that drama   Support the Show […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 3, Mount Doom Wait, we’re still walking across Mordor? There’s just SO much Doom in this chapter, Rachel is very happy It’s already obvious that Caitlin isn’t happy with the movie adaptation The eagles are coming (next time)   Support the […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 2, The Land of Shadow It’s time to walk across Mordor!. More comedic orc duos! This Nazgul wants YOUR name and number. A gobler? Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 1, The Tower of Cirith Ungol In this chapter we are back with Caitlin’s favourite Hobbit! But that still isn’t enough to save this chapter from being mostly boring. There’s architecture. And orcs! There’s more architecture and more orcs! There’s a […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 10, The Black Gate Opens In this chapter the army spends a lot of time getting to a battle…and then not much time on the battle. Merry is left behind! We were wrong last week about miles. Which is just typical […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 9, The Last Debate It’s a chapter of standing around a talking in two different parts! The Fellowship is reunited!…mostly. Caitlin still doesn’t understand miles? How far is it from Minas Tirith to the Black Gate? I have a feeling Twitter […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 8, The Houses of Healing Some people are healthy, and some are not. We will point out each one just in case you are confused. We meet Tolkein’s self-insert, self-burn. Also another woman! That we had forgotten about. Whoa. Caitlin has […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 7, The Pyre of Denethor. Our favourite boy does just a *little* murder, and maybe a bit of treason. Feanor, thousands of years later, still causing problems for everyone. Murder-Suicide always seems like the best plan, right? We still don’t understand […]

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 6, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. Dernhelm is a girl? What? Who killed the Witchking? Why was there a prophesy about that? And, most importantly, Gimli has his axe.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: […]

This week we discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 5, the Ride of the Rohirrim. A little less Ride and a little more Eavesdropping. Come and discuss with us as Merry is very observant, but misses some vital facts. Theoden gives some speeches and steals a horn. Eomer is racist, and Snowmane is […]

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 4, The Siege of Gondor! Characters Pippin – Guard of the Citadel, Faramir’s protector? Gandalf – bearer of bad news, Denethor’s worst enemy apparently Denethor – huge know-it-all, Steward of Gondor Faramir – Captain of the White […]

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 3, The Muster of Rohan! Featuring a couple of folks who super don’t want to be left behind. Characters Merry – a lone Hobbit Theoden – King of Rohan Eomer – Theoden’s nephew Eowyn – Theoden’s neice […]

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 2, The Passing of the Grey Company! We’re back with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Merry! Also appearances from some new friends and fun cameos from some old friends. Characters Aragorn – heir to the throne, which matters […]